Steve and I were married in 1989. We had dated for two years prior to making that commitment.
Very soon we decided to start trying for a baby.
After about a year with no success we decided to find a good gynecologist who we hoped would
help us with our dream of parenthood. We did find a wonderful doctor, Karie McMurray and with
her help attempted several IVF procedures. None produced a positive pregnancy test and Dr.
McMurray suggested we would need to try more intensive fertility treatments.
We prayed about this and even talked to a Christian adoption lawyer whose philosophy was that
God loves families but that sometimes He puts families together in other ways than the traditional.
We decided to write a birth mother letter and put our trust that God would provide the right situation
for us. Unfortunately after about a year, when a birth mother did choose us, it was determined that
in her particular case the fees would be much higher than we had planned. It was hard, but we
honestly felt that if it was God’s will, issues with finances would not have come up.
It was at this time that it was suggested to us to become foster parents and to be part of a “fost-
adopt” program that was designed to pair children who were eligible for adoption with foster parents
seeking to adopt.
After completing the necessary paper work and training we received our first (and as it turned out,
only) call from our caseworker. We were told there was a sibling group of 2, that were part of a
sibling group of 4 who were in need of placement. We were also informed that while they were not
YET eligible for adoption they had no contact with their birth mother and “it was only a matter of
time” before rights were terminated on all parties. The “matter of time” took over 2 years. While it
is probably best to not share much more information, I will say that, that 2 years was both the best 2
years and the worst of our lives. The biological father fought until the end for custody of not all but
only 2 (the two who were with us) of his children. It was not a pretty fight. In the end, as is so often
the case, the children suffered most of all.
It was at the very same time that these two wonderful children became eligible for adoption that we
found out I was pregnant. It was 1999. Ten years of marriage and our dream was coming true! A
baby was on her way!
Because our two foster children each had their own set of special needs we made a decision to wait
until the baby was born to make the life long decision whether to adopt. We now believe this
decision was inspired by God because at that time we had no idea what our life would be like in only
9 months. Today, our foster children live a full and complete life with two wonderful parents who
can provide everything they need and we remain in contact with them.
My pregnancy was wonderful. I had a few weeks of morning sickness but nothing too bad. I am a
worrier by nature but God gave me such a peace during my entire pregnancy. I can say with
complete honesty I was never worried about the health of my baby.
Dr McMurray decided to schedule an inducement 2 weeks prior to my due date of Nov 28, 1999.
We arrived at the hospital at 6am that morning and my labor was induced. The labor progressed
well with only a couple minor problems. When it was time to push , the doctor used the suction
machine to help with the delivery of Cori’s head. It was at this time that she could see that Cori’s
shoulders were stuck. Because her head was already out of the birth canal an emergency situation
began. The decisions before Dr. McMurray were difficult and the outcomes very precarious at
best. She could try to push Coris head back in and do an emergency C section but she felt she
might lose both of us. So, with little hands she did what she felt best and pulled Cori out.
Immediately all the codes and alarms went off as it was felt that Cori’s neck had been broken.
When things had started to go wrong the doctor told my sister in law to shut off the video camera
and there was some confusion but Steve and she were asked to leave. I only remember trying to
keep pushing as the doctor was pulling and then once she was out I just kept crying “Please God”,
“Please God” over and over until a nurse came up to my face and slapped it a little telling me to
stop praying and listen to my baby cry.
Thankfully, Cori’s neck was not broken but sprained badly. It was an injury called Brachial Plexis.
Because of the traumatic birth Cori spent the first 7 days of her life in the NICU in spite of weighing
9 ½ lbs! When she was discharged, they told us she would need therapy on her left arm and side
and that possibly that side would end up weaker throughout her life, but otherwise they sent us
home with the most beautiful child I have ever layed eyes on!
I remember being at home with her those first few days and just crying and crying every time I
looked at her. I have never felt such love for anyone else to the depth and width and breadth that I
felt for this child. I was so thankful to God for blessing us with this miracle child!
At her 6 week appointment the pediatrician said that he thought her muscle tone was too loose. He
said it might be because of her birth but sent us to a neurologist. That doctor spent 5 minutes with
us and told us Cori had Cerebral Palsy and that we needed to get her into “Birth-3” services and
take her home and love her.
At that time CP was a devastating diagnosis for us. This little child was the fulfillment of 10 years of
dreams. She was the dream we never thought would come true but did. And now someone was
telling us that she would not lead a “normal” life.
We spent the next 2 ½ years trying to obtain a true diagnosis for Cori. She endured multiple
exams, blood tests, EEGs etc to that end. MRI’s at one year showed that she did not have CP. All
tests came back virtually normal. Cori received physical, occupational and speech therapies from
the time she was 3 months old. When she was 5 months old she rolled over for the first time. She
rolled over for about a week and then never rolled over again. She never was able to sit
unassisted. She never crawled, she never walked. At one time she had a vocabulary of over 50
words and had a few two word phrases she was able to use but for the most part of her life, was
non verbal. She was very floppy, having little control over any of her muscles. She had myclonic
seizures that were uncontrolled by medication.
We believe that the “beginning of the end” was in August of 2002. Cori was 2 ½ years old. We had
agreed to a muscle biopsy and a spinal fluid testing under general anesthesia. Our neurologist at
the time thought Cori had a Mitochondrial Disease. Mitochondria are that part of each cell in the
body that affects energy. What we were unaware of was that some children with Mito disorders do
not handle anesthesia well. Cori came out of those procedures very slowly. In the next 24 hours
we had to take her to ER because she could not stop throwing up. We believe that when she threw
up one time she aspirated and that led to a week long stay at the hospital with pneumonia like
symptoms.
The little girl who came home from that stay was not the little girl who a week previous was doing as
well as she had ever done in therapies. She was almost rolling over again on her own, she had
more head control, was testing at her age on the cognitive scales and was a very happy child.
Now, she could no longer roll at all. She did not speak a word. And it began being very hard to
feed her. By February 2003 she weighed only 18lbs(down from 25 the previous August). We
agreed then to a feeding tube.
The feeding tube process was not the answer to our prayers of a easier life for Cori and us or for
weight gain. She had a reaction to the tube which produced a frothing like foam out of her nose
and mouth constantly, making any attempt to do anything else beyond breathing, an impossibility.
Docs thought that this was due to reflux but a host of medications for reflux did little good. By May
2003 Cori had turned blue and had to be airlifted to Childrens Hospital in Seattle. She spent a
week there, mostly in ICU. They put in a GJ tube at that time hoping to stop the “frothing”.
We brought her home and for about 1 week we had our little girl back. She started using her words
again. She was once again able to use her finger to point and manipulate some of her toys. And
no foam. And then, as quickly as it stopped, it started again and we were never again able to
control it.
Cori could no longer sit up in any of her little chairs or her wheelchair. She had to be laying on her
side and we had to use a suction machine to remove the foaming so that she could breathe. We
even bought a wagon so that we could transport her to and from doctors appointments laying
down.
In August 2003 she started having panic attacks when it was hard for her to breathe. We believe
that this would occur when we would try to reposition her and some of the saliva would go down her
throat and she could no longer protect her airway.
We spent a month at Children’s Hospital in August-Sept 2003. They tried many things in an effort
to stop the excess saliva, foaming and panic attacks. Nothing worked. The only positive thing that
came from that stay was that we finally had nursing help. We were supposed to get 8 hour day shift
and 8 hour over night shifts. The nursing agency was able to fill the days but was having a hard
time coming up with anyone at night.
They wanted Cori on Bi-Pap every night but we couldn’t do this until the night nursing started. The
only option left available to us to try and solve this problem was a Fundoplication surgery. This
would mostly close the valve from the esophagus to the stomach so that if it was reflux it would no
longer be able to go back up the esophagus and thus cause the excess saliva/foam.
On November 13, 2003 we took Cori for a pre-op appointment at Childrens Hospital. She wore a
satiny blue blouse and soft velvety navy pants. She layed on her wagon in the back of our van and
I sat back with her the whole trip down. She did really well. She got to see two clowns while we
were waiting for the doctors. One sang and one blew bubbles for Cori. Cori loved bubbles,
bubbles always made her smile.
We scheduled the surgery for December. The resident even mentioned how beautiful she looked
that day. She just had a great day.
But it was a long day. By the time we got home it was time for her bed. We went in her room, and I
put on her pajamas. A pair of soft flannel like pajamas. Since we had the nursing we had two
chairs in Cori’s room. I usually held Cori in our living room before she went to bed but this night I
chose to hold her in the one chair in her room. I asked her daddy to sit with us. I snuggled with my
sweet girl, who smelled so good, as always. What happened next is the best gift God has given us
beyond our salvation and her birth. Cori had never been able to say “I love you”. They were
words I longed to hear her say, but didn’t feel I ever would. At this time, she had no words anymore
and she could barely move her little hand she was so weak. As I held her, I did something I had
never done before in her life. I asked her if she loved her daddy. I held her elbow because I knew
that if she remembered and if she could she would move her little fist up and down (this is YES in
sign language). Well, she remembered and ever so slightly up and down went her little fist. Then
Daddy asked her “Do you love your mommy?” and again, up and down went her little fist. Through
tears of joy, I then asked her “Do you know how much your mommy and daddy love you?” and up
and down went her little fist for the last time.
We layed her down on her side, with her baby doll under one arm and her Junior Asparagus who
hummed “God is bigger than the Boogey Man” not once but always the “one more time” that always
made her smile. We shut off the light, told her nite nite and we went to bed.
At 6am the next morning, November 14, 2003 she woke up fussy. Steve went in and picked her
up. She seemed to settle down and so he layed her down and went to take a shower. She was
always on a oxygen monitor and it was set to go off when her sats dropped below 85. As he was
finishing up his shower the monitor beeped once. Not the long beep beep beep when the sats were
dropping. He went in and found that Cori was not breathing and she had no heart beat.
I tried CPR but it did not work. Paramedics were able to get her heart started and we all went to the
hospital. We now believe that when Steve found her that morning she was already on her way to
heaven. But, being at the hospital I was able to sing praises to the Lord who gave her to me as I
was holding her one last time. Steve got to hold her and much of our extended family got to be
there in the room with us to say good bye to Corinne Joy Berndtson, who would have turned 4
years old the very next day.
I do not have the words to convey to anyone reading this story the sorrow that fills my heart that my
angel girl is not with me here on this earth. But I do not have anger toward God. He didn’t have to
bless me with a child at all. I would never have known the love that still floods my soul for this child.
I would not have been able to understand as fully as I do now, the sacrifice He gave for me, and
you, to assure us of an enternal life beyond this life.
Heaven is so much more real to me now. Do you know that verse from the bible “Where your
treasure is, there your heart shall be also”? Well my greatest treasure is in heaven today. That’s
where my heart is as well. And one day, that is where my soul will be.
If I could impart anything to those who have read Cori’s story it is this, do not for one more second
of one more minute of one more day, take life for granted. There is a reason for your life. There is
a God who has a plan for your future. Your ETERNAL future. There is a Heaven and there is a
Hell. Choose today where you want to spend your eternity when you have breathed your last
breath on this earth. Because the moment after you have breathed your last, will be one moment
too late to decide.
If you have questions about God, ask them! Ask us, or a pastor of a bible believing church. Read
the bible. Investigate the claims of Christ’s life. Don’t put it off until tomorrow. If there is anything
Cori’s life has taught her father and I it is that we cannot trust in tomorrow. All we have is today.
God Bless You!
Very soon we decided to start trying for a baby.
After about a year with no success we decided to find a good gynecologist who we hoped would
help us with our dream of parenthood. We did find a wonderful doctor, Karie McMurray and with
her help attempted several IVF procedures. None produced a positive pregnancy test and Dr.
McMurray suggested we would need to try more intensive fertility treatments.
We prayed about this and even talked to a Christian adoption lawyer whose philosophy was that
God loves families but that sometimes He puts families together in other ways than the traditional.
We decided to write a birth mother letter and put our trust that God would provide the right situation
for us. Unfortunately after about a year, when a birth mother did choose us, it was determined that
in her particular case the fees would be much higher than we had planned. It was hard, but we
honestly felt that if it was God’s will, issues with finances would not have come up.
It was at this time that it was suggested to us to become foster parents and to be part of a “fost-
adopt” program that was designed to pair children who were eligible for adoption with foster parents
seeking to adopt.
After completing the necessary paper work and training we received our first (and as it turned out,
only) call from our caseworker. We were told there was a sibling group of 2, that were part of a
sibling group of 4 who were in need of placement. We were also informed that while they were not
YET eligible for adoption they had no contact with their birth mother and “it was only a matter of
time” before rights were terminated on all parties. The “matter of time” took over 2 years. While it
is probably best to not share much more information, I will say that, that 2 years was both the best 2
years and the worst of our lives. The biological father fought until the end for custody of not all but
only 2 (the two who were with us) of his children. It was not a pretty fight. In the end, as is so often
the case, the children suffered most of all.
It was at the very same time that these two wonderful children became eligible for adoption that we
found out I was pregnant. It was 1999. Ten years of marriage and our dream was coming true! A
baby was on her way!
Because our two foster children each had their own set of special needs we made a decision to wait
until the baby was born to make the life long decision whether to adopt. We now believe this
decision was inspired by God because at that time we had no idea what our life would be like in only
9 months. Today, our foster children live a full and complete life with two wonderful parents who
can provide everything they need and we remain in contact with them.
My pregnancy was wonderful. I had a few weeks of morning sickness but nothing too bad. I am a
worrier by nature but God gave me such a peace during my entire pregnancy. I can say with
complete honesty I was never worried about the health of my baby.
Dr McMurray decided to schedule an inducement 2 weeks prior to my due date of Nov 28, 1999.
We arrived at the hospital at 6am that morning and my labor was induced. The labor progressed
well with only a couple minor problems. When it was time to push , the doctor used the suction
machine to help with the delivery of Cori’s head. It was at this time that she could see that Cori’s
shoulders were stuck. Because her head was already out of the birth canal an emergency situation
began. The decisions before Dr. McMurray were difficult and the outcomes very precarious at
best. She could try to push Coris head back in and do an emergency C section but she felt she
might lose both of us. So, with little hands she did what she felt best and pulled Cori out.
Immediately all the codes and alarms went off as it was felt that Cori’s neck had been broken.
When things had started to go wrong the doctor told my sister in law to shut off the video camera
and there was some confusion but Steve and she were asked to leave. I only remember trying to
keep pushing as the doctor was pulling and then once she was out I just kept crying “Please God”,
“Please God” over and over until a nurse came up to my face and slapped it a little telling me to
stop praying and listen to my baby cry.
Thankfully, Cori’s neck was not broken but sprained badly. It was an injury called Brachial Plexis.
Because of the traumatic birth Cori spent the first 7 days of her life in the NICU in spite of weighing
9 ½ lbs! When she was discharged, they told us she would need therapy on her left arm and side
and that possibly that side would end up weaker throughout her life, but otherwise they sent us
home with the most beautiful child I have ever layed eyes on!
I remember being at home with her those first few days and just crying and crying every time I
looked at her. I have never felt such love for anyone else to the depth and width and breadth that I
felt for this child. I was so thankful to God for blessing us with this miracle child!
At her 6 week appointment the pediatrician said that he thought her muscle tone was too loose. He
said it might be because of her birth but sent us to a neurologist. That doctor spent 5 minutes with
us and told us Cori had Cerebral Palsy and that we needed to get her into “Birth-3” services and
take her home and love her.
At that time CP was a devastating diagnosis for us. This little child was the fulfillment of 10 years of
dreams. She was the dream we never thought would come true but did. And now someone was
telling us that she would not lead a “normal” life.
We spent the next 2 ½ years trying to obtain a true diagnosis for Cori. She endured multiple
exams, blood tests, EEGs etc to that end. MRI’s at one year showed that she did not have CP. All
tests came back virtually normal. Cori received physical, occupational and speech therapies from
the time she was 3 months old. When she was 5 months old she rolled over for the first time. She
rolled over for about a week and then never rolled over again. She never was able to sit
unassisted. She never crawled, she never walked. At one time she had a vocabulary of over 50
words and had a few two word phrases she was able to use but for the most part of her life, was
non verbal. She was very floppy, having little control over any of her muscles. She had myclonic
seizures that were uncontrolled by medication.
We believe that the “beginning of the end” was in August of 2002. Cori was 2 ½ years old. We had
agreed to a muscle biopsy and a spinal fluid testing under general anesthesia. Our neurologist at
the time thought Cori had a Mitochondrial Disease. Mitochondria are that part of each cell in the
body that affects energy. What we were unaware of was that some children with Mito disorders do
not handle anesthesia well. Cori came out of those procedures very slowly. In the next 24 hours
we had to take her to ER because she could not stop throwing up. We believe that when she threw
up one time she aspirated and that led to a week long stay at the hospital with pneumonia like
symptoms.
The little girl who came home from that stay was not the little girl who a week previous was doing as
well as she had ever done in therapies. She was almost rolling over again on her own, she had
more head control, was testing at her age on the cognitive scales and was a very happy child.
Now, she could no longer roll at all. She did not speak a word. And it began being very hard to
feed her. By February 2003 she weighed only 18lbs(down from 25 the previous August). We
agreed then to a feeding tube.
The feeding tube process was not the answer to our prayers of a easier life for Cori and us or for
weight gain. She had a reaction to the tube which produced a frothing like foam out of her nose
and mouth constantly, making any attempt to do anything else beyond breathing, an impossibility.
Docs thought that this was due to reflux but a host of medications for reflux did little good. By May
2003 Cori had turned blue and had to be airlifted to Childrens Hospital in Seattle. She spent a
week there, mostly in ICU. They put in a GJ tube at that time hoping to stop the “frothing”.
We brought her home and for about 1 week we had our little girl back. She started using her words
again. She was once again able to use her finger to point and manipulate some of her toys. And
no foam. And then, as quickly as it stopped, it started again and we were never again able to
control it.
Cori could no longer sit up in any of her little chairs or her wheelchair. She had to be laying on her
side and we had to use a suction machine to remove the foaming so that she could breathe. We
even bought a wagon so that we could transport her to and from doctors appointments laying
down.
In August 2003 she started having panic attacks when it was hard for her to breathe. We believe
that this would occur when we would try to reposition her and some of the saliva would go down her
throat and she could no longer protect her airway.
We spent a month at Children’s Hospital in August-Sept 2003. They tried many things in an effort
to stop the excess saliva, foaming and panic attacks. Nothing worked. The only positive thing that
came from that stay was that we finally had nursing help. We were supposed to get 8 hour day shift
and 8 hour over night shifts. The nursing agency was able to fill the days but was having a hard
time coming up with anyone at night.
They wanted Cori on Bi-Pap every night but we couldn’t do this until the night nursing started. The
only option left available to us to try and solve this problem was a Fundoplication surgery. This
would mostly close the valve from the esophagus to the stomach so that if it was reflux it would no
longer be able to go back up the esophagus and thus cause the excess saliva/foam.
On November 13, 2003 we took Cori for a pre-op appointment at Childrens Hospital. She wore a
satiny blue blouse and soft velvety navy pants. She layed on her wagon in the back of our van and
I sat back with her the whole trip down. She did really well. She got to see two clowns while we
were waiting for the doctors. One sang and one blew bubbles for Cori. Cori loved bubbles,
bubbles always made her smile.
We scheduled the surgery for December. The resident even mentioned how beautiful she looked
that day. She just had a great day.
But it was a long day. By the time we got home it was time for her bed. We went in her room, and I
put on her pajamas. A pair of soft flannel like pajamas. Since we had the nursing we had two
chairs in Cori’s room. I usually held Cori in our living room before she went to bed but this night I
chose to hold her in the one chair in her room. I asked her daddy to sit with us. I snuggled with my
sweet girl, who smelled so good, as always. What happened next is the best gift God has given us
beyond our salvation and her birth. Cori had never been able to say “I love you”. They were
words I longed to hear her say, but didn’t feel I ever would. At this time, she had no words anymore
and she could barely move her little hand she was so weak. As I held her, I did something I had
never done before in her life. I asked her if she loved her daddy. I held her elbow because I knew
that if she remembered and if she could she would move her little fist up and down (this is YES in
sign language). Well, she remembered and ever so slightly up and down went her little fist. Then
Daddy asked her “Do you love your mommy?” and again, up and down went her little fist. Through
tears of joy, I then asked her “Do you know how much your mommy and daddy love you?” and up
and down went her little fist for the last time.
We layed her down on her side, with her baby doll under one arm and her Junior Asparagus who
hummed “God is bigger than the Boogey Man” not once but always the “one more time” that always
made her smile. We shut off the light, told her nite nite and we went to bed.
At 6am the next morning, November 14, 2003 she woke up fussy. Steve went in and picked her
up. She seemed to settle down and so he layed her down and went to take a shower. She was
always on a oxygen monitor and it was set to go off when her sats dropped below 85. As he was
finishing up his shower the monitor beeped once. Not the long beep beep beep when the sats were
dropping. He went in and found that Cori was not breathing and she had no heart beat.
I tried CPR but it did not work. Paramedics were able to get her heart started and we all went to the
hospital. We now believe that when Steve found her that morning she was already on her way to
heaven. But, being at the hospital I was able to sing praises to the Lord who gave her to me as I
was holding her one last time. Steve got to hold her and much of our extended family got to be
there in the room with us to say good bye to Corinne Joy Berndtson, who would have turned 4
years old the very next day.
I do not have the words to convey to anyone reading this story the sorrow that fills my heart that my
angel girl is not with me here on this earth. But I do not have anger toward God. He didn’t have to
bless me with a child at all. I would never have known the love that still floods my soul for this child.
I would not have been able to understand as fully as I do now, the sacrifice He gave for me, and
you, to assure us of an enternal life beyond this life.
Heaven is so much more real to me now. Do you know that verse from the bible “Where your
treasure is, there your heart shall be also”? Well my greatest treasure is in heaven today. That’s
where my heart is as well. And one day, that is where my soul will be.
If I could impart anything to those who have read Cori’s story it is this, do not for one more second
of one more minute of one more day, take life for granted. There is a reason for your life. There is
a God who has a plan for your future. Your ETERNAL future. There is a Heaven and there is a
Hell. Choose today where you want to spend your eternity when you have breathed your last
breath on this earth. Because the moment after you have breathed your last, will be one moment
too late to decide.
If you have questions about God, ask them! Ask us, or a pastor of a bible believing church. Read
the bible. Investigate the claims of Christ’s life. Don’t put it off until tomorrow. If there is anything
Cori’s life has taught her father and I it is that we cannot trust in tomorrow. All we have is today.
God Bless You!
 | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  |
